Dangerous Advice
Whether you’re a victim advocate, a patient advocate, a student advocate, or some other professional “empowerer”, you’ve probably learned at some point in your training that it is ill-advised to give advice.
Advice can be pushy, disempowering, stifling, and arrogant. And research shows two important patterns:
When people receive advice, they tend to respond by pushing against the advice. This typically sounds like, “Yes, but…” Imagine an advocate who says, “I really think you need to take better care of yourself. It’s time to put yourself first.” Likely, the person receiving the advice will respond by saying something like, “Yes, but I just have so many other people to worry about. It’s going to be a long time before I can put me first.” It’s predictable. When we, as advocates, give advice we are actually provoking people into advocating against the advice.
There is even some evidence to suggest that unsolicited advice feels so imposing (and perhaps violating) that it sends people into a “fight or flight” response. That implies that it feels somehow like a threat. This is important for all advocates, but particularly those who respond to survivors of abuse and violence.
Keep following the monthly blog for tips about what you can say/ do instead of imposing your own advice. Remember: Advocacy is not about telling people what to do. It’s about awakening their inner advocate so that they can use their own voices to promote change. Stay in touch with Advocacy Academy to learn more!